Gravity Moves
by NoSparkles4Me
Summary: Jared loses his imprint to another man and has to come to terms with a life without the most important person in his life.


Gravity moves

He sat on the deck, staring sightlessly into the grove of trees behind the little rundown house. The sun was going down, gilding the leaves of the trees and turning the dust motes into little sparkles in the air.

It should have been captivating, but all Jared could see in his mind, was Kim and James together. He groaned again, the pain stabbing like a dagger into his flesh. The image of the two of them, in an intimate embrace, was burned into his brain.

"I'm such an idiot," he muttered. The tears were threatening again. He took a shaky breath, held it for a second and let it out as slow as he could. But the tears welled up and rolled down his cheeks despite his desperate attempts to hold them back. His throat burned and his chest ached. Swallowing quickly, he brushed the tears away. "Get a grip, dude."

He quickly stood up and jogged to edge of the forest, shedding his clothes as he went. Behind the old spruce, he pulled off his jeans and called on that rush of heat that transformed him into a wolf. They were in his mind immediately.

"_Jared, I'm sorry, man"_

"_It'll be okay, dude."_

"_You guys will sort it out. Just give it some time."_

Only Jacob said nothing. Jared could feel the sympathy though. Jacob knew how it felt to lose the love of your life to someone else. Jared turned to look at Jacob and nodded his head. At least someone wasn't going to pity him. Small consolation.

Jared concentrated intensely to keep the bare minimum of thoughts in his mind, focusing solely on the task of running the line. After a while it became almost automatic. Run, sniff, run, sniff. A brief oasis in the chaos of emotions in his mind and heart.

But eventually, the shift was over and Jared knew he would have to go home.

"_Sam, could I run a double tonight?"_ Jared asked pleadingly.

"_I think you need to deal with this, Jared. Running another patrol would just delay the inevitable."_ Sam was firm. It wasn't an Alpha directive but it was close enough.

***

Back at the house, Jared pulled on his jeans and shirt and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, mom."

"Hi! You're back late. How was your day?" Mom was always so cheerful, she drew people to her easily. "I haven't seen Kim in a couple of days. Is she okay?"

He swallowed hard. "Yeah, she's just fine." He noticed his moms eyes narrow slightly at the sarcastic undertone.

"Jared…?" She looked at him, concerned.

Jared ran a hand through his dark hair, a pained expression on his face. He could feel his chest and throat tightening with the threat of tears again.

"Mom…I can't talk about it right now." His voice broke on the last word. He choked down a sob. "I'm going to my room. I don't feel too good."

"Ok." She watched his retreating back in sadness and sighed.

***

Back in his room, Jared lay back on his bed, his head resting against his folded arms. He replayed the scene over and over in his mind.

He had just been relieved from patrol by Paul and was making his way back to Kim's for the first time in a few days. He had been tied up with patrols, studying and his volunteer work at the local community center. He silently cursed Sam for forcing them all to "get involved in the community". He just hadn't been able to make time to see Kim at a reasonable hour.

He had come up to her house feeling excited. He had missed her so much. It was difficult to stay away from your imprinted; your soulmate. It was like a physical pain, being apart.

He climbed up the low porch roof to the bedroom window, wanting to surprise her. Only it was he who had ended up being surprised.

There could be no denying what they had been doing. The pain had hit with such force, that he had jumped off the roof, phasing in midair.

The sheer strength of his emotions made it nearly impossible for him to phase back into his human shape until the following day. It was like he had regressed to the time he had first discovered his unusual heritage. The phasing at the beginning was uncontrollable, triggered by the slightest rush of anger. He had learnt to control it since then. It hadn't been as quick as Jacob's but he had learnt much faster than Paul.

Now, lying on his bed, Jared could feel the anger simmering again and he shut his eyes, trying to control himself like Sam had taught them to. He could not phase in the house. It would be a disaster. He slowly took control of his shape and soon only his hands were still shaking, practically thrumming. He sat upright, focusing on his hands, willing them into stillness.

He stared morosely at his desk. It was littered with a tired old computer, piles of text books and papers. And the photographs. So many of Kim. Each one, a little snapshot of a memory: her smiling when he had taken her out the first time; Kim with tangled hair after a disastrous camping trip that ended up being almost a cruise, it had rained so much; the one of them hugging at the bonfire on the beach, taken by Emily.

He stood up and walked to the desk. Jared pulled each photograph down, looked at them silently and tossed them into the drawer.

"No more reminders." He whispered to himself.

He crawled back onto the bed, praying for the sweet oblivion of sleep. It came as the sky was turning purple.

Sunrise was coming.

***

School the following day was excruciating.

In each class he normally had with Kim, Jared found a seat as far from her as he could, keeping his head down and trying to look busy. But he was aware of the curious glances and whispers from the rest of the students.

At lunch, Jared knew he would not be able to stand being stared at again. He had History after lunch break so he found a seat in the corner of the empty classroom. He threw his books on the desk, folded his arms on top of books then rested his forehead on his arms.

"Jared?"

He groaned inwardly. Maybe he could pretend to be asleep and she would go away.

"I know you can hear me." Kim whispered. "Please, Jared, I…"

"Just shut up!" he barked at her, raising his head. She winced at his harsh tone and he almost reached out to sooth her, stilling his hand just in time. _What the fuck? Why should I comfort her? _"Why don't you just leave me alone? I have nothing to say to you."

He looked at her then, seeing the tears glisten in her soft brown eyes. His chest clenched. As furious as he was, it still was impossible to not feel strongly about Kim.

Jared put his head down again and whispered, "Please. Just go away. Leave me alone."

Moments later, he heard the soft click of the door.

***

Life settled into a routine for Jared. School, homework, patrol, sleep.

The whispering had finally stopped and Jared was starting to feel like life was getting back to normal, even if it was a poor semblance after the bright and happy time with Kim. It was like he was living in a dull reflection of the world.

The rest of the pack was careful with their thoughts around him. Sam had tried to talk to him about it a couple of times but Jared refused to listen. How could Sam even begin to understand how much he had been hurt? He had his Emily who was devoted to him. So they all just skirted the subject, leaving Jared alone to heal by himself.

With so much more free time to spend studying, Jared noticed a marked improvement in his grades. His teachers were encouraging him to apply for scholarships, but he knew leaving La Push would be next to impossible. He couldn't abandon the pack. And as much as it hurt, he couldn't leave Kim.

That night over dinner, his mother broached the subject again.

"Jared, I know this thing with Kim has really hurt you. But you have to move on, son." She took his hand across the little melamine table. "Your teachers say you have a good chance of getting a scholarship, with your grades. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Mom. But I don't think I could leave the pack."

"Rubbish, Jared. Things have been quiet around here for a while. You know Sam and the rest of the elders would want you to go to college. I'm sure Sam has regrets about not taking up that scholarship."

"Sam didn't have a choice, Mom. Neither do I. I am what I am. I can't run away from it."

"It's not running away." She stood up and walked around the table. "Look at it as arming yourself. You will not need to be a werewolf forever. What will you do then? Rely on the council and the community to support you?"

She began to gather up the dishes. "No. I say you are going to school. Tomorrow you will complete those applications and send them. I won't have my son sitting around the house on welfare like a bad cliché."

Jared stood up and carried some dishes to the sink.

He leaned against the counter, gazing out the window. "I can't leave her" he whispered.

She sighed. "You already have, Jared. The minute you decided not to forgive her and take her back. You can't hold onto something that isn't yours."

Jared turned to look at his mother with stricken eyes. "But _I _am _hers_. Forever."

***

Jared watched the students in the quad, feeling like an imposter. He had tried to concentrate on the equations in the book in front of him, but kept losing his concentration, until eventually he shut the book with an exasperated sigh.

"Hey, Jared!"

Jared turned to spy his room mate running towards him. Donny was the ultimate all American boy: blonde, blue eyed, football star, A-grade student. It was like fate just continued to conspire against Jared, surrounding him with anything and everything that could make him feel inadequate.

Donny collapsed on the ground next to Jared. "Studying?" he asked in surprise.

"Yeah, some of us do that sometimes," Jared replied.

"Come on, man. Where's the fun in that?" Donny's head turned to follow a pretty blonde walking past. "Why don't you join us this weekend? We're going down to the beach. It will be fun."

Memories of beach parties and bonfires with Kim flashed through Jared's mind.

"Uh…I don't-"

"No, don't say no. I'm not taking no for an answer. Just be there." Donny stood up smacking at the seat of his designer jeans. "I'll see you later."

Jared watched him walk away in consternation.

***

The sound of the waves crashing in the dark was calming; a gentle reminder of home. But it smelled different here. Not green and earthy like home. The smell here was more decayed, putrid. Jared wrinkled his nose in distaste.

He was sitting against a rock on the edge of the group gathered around the fire. He bristled slightly each time one of the girls laughed. It was so annoying.

He desperately wanted to leave but Donny had brought him. He could easily have run back but it might have raised eyebrows, and Jared could not afford the scrutiny.

So instead, he leaned back staring up at the stars. It was a novelty. La Push was always was under near constant cloud cover. Jared knew he should be enjoying this experience but all he could think about was home. And Kim.

He jumped when someone sat next to him.

"Could I share your rock?" The voice was soft, slightly husky. It sounded like she was smiling.

Jared turned at the sound of the voice.

She was pretty; tall and slim, with long dark hair. He couldn't tell the colour of her eyes in the firelight, but they were light.

"So… have they put the native in his own rez?"

He snorted. "No, the native chooses to be above the riffraff."

"Nice." She shifted a little, making herself more comfortable. "Am I crashing your party?"

* * *

"So I'll start with the obvious. You go to school here." It was a statement, not a question. "I'm Alison. But you can call me Allie. Please. Call me Allie. I dunno why my parents gave me such a crap name. I mean 'Alison?" Could you imagine living with such a boring name? It's not like there aren't a gazillion good names out there. They go and give me this dumb name that sounds like it should belong to some blonde bimbo with an IQ equivalent to a house plant."

Jared turned his head slightly to try to sneak a better look at her. "Are you mentally challenged?" he frowned.

"You're not very good with people, are you?" She gave him a sour look.

"Guess not," he sighed. "It's been a while."

"Yeah, well… you're mean." She was pouting. Jared couldn't help but grin. She looked all of twelve years old with her lip pooched out like that. "If you don't like being with people, why the hell are you here?"

_Why _am_ I here? Oh right._ "I was dragged here, kicking and screaming." He pointed at Donny, who, at that moment, was trying to ogle a sophomore and arm wrestle one of his football team mates at the same time.

"Ah." She nodded seriously. "I can relate."

Jared turned to her. "Oh?"

"Yep. I have to babysit." She pointed to a petite blonde near the fire, swaying to the music blaring from the boombox. "My best friend. Can't take her anywhere. She thinks the world is full of unicorns and fluffy bunnies."

"Uh-huh. And you think it's full of psycho stalkers and baby murderers?"

"Pretty much." She nodded contemplatively. "So… are you going to introduce yourself? Or are you one of those secret agents without a real identity?"

The expression on Allie's face was so comical, Jared let out an involuntary snicker.

"Jared." He held out his hand and Allie put her soft small hand in his. A slight tingle passed through his arm, and he wondered at it for a moment.

She stared unashamedly at him. "So why aren't you so good with people, Jared?"

He liked the way his name sounded on her lips. It had been such a long time since someone had really focused completely on him alone, that he found himself feeling slightly giddy.

"It's a long pathetic story."

"It doesn't look like I'm going anywhere soon." She nodded towards the blonde again who was lying on her back staring up at the stars.

Jared looked down and for the first time in months suddenly found he wanted to tell someone everything; but the pain was still to close, too raw.

He swallowed and shook his head. "Maybe another time."

She looked at him closely for a moment, then shrugged.

They spent the rest of the evening, chatting about everything and nothing; superficial lighthearted topics that would keep the pain and anger away.

It was the first time in months Jared had spent so much time talking to someone. He was surprised to find he missed it.

The eastern horizon was starting to lighten when Allie suddenly stood up. Jared was startled out his doze.

"Sorry. Looks like it's time to go. Shelby's ready." She pointed to her blonde friend. She turned to look at Jared, an odd intensity in her eyes. "I'll see around?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

He watched her walk towards the parking lot, her long dark hair swinging.

It surprised him to find a small smile on his face.


End file.
